mohangeet

A slice of my day....

2012-02-09T08:00:00.000-08:00

I finished my hectic work schedule today and boarded the bus, when my mobile beeped alerting me of an sms.. It was from,Jo my niece who had sent the sms to remind me to write in my blog, she said she misses talking to me, and through the blog,she gets to know what goes on in my head...Its quite funny, that today my blog has become my expression.

I share a beautiful relationship with her. I find lot of strength in her, now that she is the mother of two wonderful kids. I find her enjoying her motherhood just as I did. The kids are going to grow and before long will have their life to lead. It is only these moments when they are so dependent on you that you need to be with them and thrive in sharing the togetherness.

Being a mother, was my only identity. I enjoyed every bit of it, when nimi and simi were small ,when mohan was alive, and even after he left us, playing the roles of both dad and mom. It was tough sometimes, but inspiring all the same.

I think children are very observant of their parents. They imbibe values from them and live. If you have lived your life well, be rest assured your children will too. So, as the saying goes, Life is simple if you let it be....

I enjoy watching Jo's children, Mythri and Vivaan as they are growing. It is nice to see acceptance in Mythri of her brother. We find sibling rivalry in most homes, where the elder child gets jealous of the younger sibling, seeing all the attention they get. But I am happy to see that Mythri acts like a parent herself.

I am waiting to see, nimi and simi as mothers, wondering how they will tackle their life with children. But deep inside I know that they will be wonderful parents ,when they choose to have their own kids.

Thinking about all this, I didnt realise my bus had already reached my stop and I jumped outside....

Such is life....

Quotes that touched me....

2012-01-22T01:26:00.000-08:00

Ayn Rand in her introduction to the 25th edition of the Great book,THE FOUNTAINHEAD said " Only Romanticism is the conceptual school of art. It deals not with the random trivia of the day, but with the timeless,fundamental, universal - problems and values of human existence. It does not record or photograph, it creates and projects. It is concerned in the words of Aristotle not with things as they are, but with things as they might be and ought to be.

she goes on to add..

"Exaltation" is usally taken to mean an emotional state evoked by contemplating the supernatural.
"Worship" means an emotional experience of loyalty and dedication to something higher than man.
"Reverence" means the emotion of a sacred respect, to be experienced on one's knees.
"Sacred" means superior to and not to be touched by any concerns of man or of this earth etc.

It is not in the nature of man- nor of any living entity- to start by giving up, by spitting in one's own face and damning existence:that requires a process of corruption whose rapidity differs from man to man. Some give up at the first touch of pressure,some sell out, some run down by imperceptible degrees and lose their fire, never knowing when or how they lost it. Then all of these vanish in the vast swamp of their elders who tell them persistently that
'maturity' consists of abandoning one's mind,
'Security' of abandoning one's values,
'Pracitality' of losing one's self esteem.
Yet a few hold on and move on knowing that , that fire is not to be betrayed.

I copied these lines on to the blog for the likes of my daughter NIMI to read and comprehend. We are students of life and such profound thoughts help us hold on to our life as it is, and give us courage to move on without giving up.

A True life story

2012-01-21T22:24:00.000-08:00

They were in love. I would call them eternal lovers, George and Elsy. More than two scores of years of togetherness later,they set themselves as an example for the new generation,as to how two people can live, love and at the same time be happy. It is not a mean achievement. Happiness comes to those who choose to go after it. The price is acceptance, adjustment, and unconditional love.

Today as I write this,Elsy is alone. George has left her to a happier place called heaven. God chose to separate them one day. But then even this was accepted by Elsy, gracefully and I remained a mute witness. George was taken to the ICU that day as his condition worsened, and like a true soldier, Elsy sent him off, with her good bye. I think she knew that it was the last time she was going to see him alive. But sadly she could not hear his response as he was in a partial coma.

Elsy waited patiently in the room for news from ICU. I stayed with her holding her hand. By afternoon she heard that he was put in the ventilator when she held my hand more tightly, fully accepting the situation.The end came at 6.25pm and she put her head down amd silently wept. She didnt even want to meet him then for she said she would wait till her daughters arrived.

George was like RAJESH KHANNA, the eternal lover of the seventies and early eighties. He had a style of his own, and always used to hum the popular romantic hindi songs of that era with expressions.Elsy was his better-half in every sense of the word.The Chundadan house was always full of guests. One would find Elsy cooking the most delicious food effortlessly feeding the loved ones with much fervor.George and Elsy were much loved by their relatives and friends and they in turn did the same.

George was paralysed on his right side, and needed help from his wife for everything, even for being heard.His speech was affected when he was first struck with paralysis. I always used to wonder how Elsy alone understood his speech. The love and life that they shared helped her understand his mind too well. Even till the day he was hospitalised before the end came he was conducting his business of manufacturing foundry chemicals with the help of his wife, Elsy.

He was unable to sit or stand without help,but his mind was always very active. I used to see him looking for new avenues of business. I even told him that one day I would write his story of successful living and he beamed at me.
He was an enigma and I used to wonder where he was getting this enthusiasm for life from. Everytime he was hospitalised,we would find all his loved ones around him for days on end, giving him the much needed impetus to keep breathing.

We see all around us people vexed with the way life treated them, and here was a man who had everything going against him, but he wanted to live for ever. LOVE was fuelling his drive for life. He invested in love all his life and that alone proved to be the elixir of his life.

The day of the funeral, saw multitudes of friends and relatives thronging the house and church to bid goodbye to their old friend. The tearful farewell, was captured by the photographer to be stored as memories for Elsy to see when she was shedding a silent tear, alone, grieving in the Chundadan House.

I am sure they will meet around the bend and will continue their journey together in their coming lives.

Life in crisis mode-happens sometime.

2012-01-16T11:25:00.000-08:00

My researcher daughter called me at an odd hour. Usually such calls come only in times of crisis. I saw the name of the caller, and immediatly became alert.Sure enough the crisis this time, was a review her students had given her.

She was a first time teacher, very passionate about the subject she was handling.The students were an interesting lot. There were some who were there in the class just to get the credit and some who were there for the love of science.

In the review,there were a few students who rated her as good but there were some who rated her not so good. It broke her heart and that was today's crisis.

I made her understand, the need to maintain equanimity in our dealings with people. The good and the bad need to be taken in the same detached manner. I told her to look at the negatives first and see if there was any scope for self improvement. The positives needed to be looked into, to assertain if she was worthy of that.

Maintaining an equal distance from both helps one to look at life, on the whole fairly.

My policy in life has been, to go with the other person initially, gain their confidence, and then give my point of view, rather than putting forth my point of view to be rejected outright.

She heard me, and I heard her sigh of relief.

Thankgod!!!!

Necessity of speaking lies.

2012-01-16T10:57:00.000-08:00

The topic is a controversial one.
I think there won't be any one in this world who would never have lied to anyone.All the same, it is slightly irritating if someone blatently lies to you all the time.
I have a friend who does this. It becomes clear to me even when the lie is being told that it is so. But I remain a mute spectator. Its a strange feeling. The lies are harmless, but it leaves a bad taste in the mouth. But the so called smart person, is such a fool that, he doesnt credit any intelligence to me.

I feel quite bad, at the same time feel sorry that it is a compulsion for my poor friend.

We meet such people all the time. It is not possible to change them. So the best way is to ignore them.

Importance of living

2012-01-15T10:27:00.000-08:00

Today I learnt a lesson of living from my old mother. I always felt, I had enough of living in my 50years.Having finished the responsibilities of educating, marrying the girls etc, I am ready to leave the world,when my call comes as I have no desires left.

I see my mother (82 years), thinking about the next meal, planning and helping in execution of the same. She waits longingly for the meal times and eats moderately and that ofcourse shows in her health also.
Unlike her daughters', she has no ailments and even her teeth at this age are intact. She loves life to this day and that shows in her being.

I think I must take a lesson or two from her life's pages.

The other day I read the book, Secret letters from the Monk who sold his Ferrari by Robin Sharma. One of the letters had a teaching about" Leaving behind a legacy"
What the author wanted to say was that, one has to leave one's foot print on this world when one leaves for the future generations.I found this to be a profound thought for the likes of me who are so ready to leave this earth.

We think of going away from this world, when there is so much to be dealt with. Even if we can reach out and do some thing or touch one life, that is a step towards the goal of leaving footprints.

I am going to take this seriously as I want to leave my foot print.

Romance amidst serious banking (short story)

2012-01-10T09:36:00.000-08:00

Manish was upset with the weather. What a nuisense he thought.The rains were creating havoc outside,but that did not deter his enthusiasm for work.He was a banker by profession,30years old and single.He was recently transferred from his home town where he had a very happy home with loving parents and a house full of relatives. He was much loved but here in the city he felt quite lonely.

It was love at first sight for Manish. He was the manager of the bank where the pretty 25 year old Divya joined recently. She was very bubbly and smart, and soon became the apple of everyone's eye, with her zeal for work and helping tendency.Naturally her popularity with customers and staff reached the ears of the manager also.

The staff of the branch, about 9 in numbers were an interesting lot.
The senior supervisor Mr.Wadhwa was a bald and short fellow who was interested more in chewing pan parag than his own work. As a result whenever he opened his mouth to speak he would shower the listener with pan parag lazed saliva.Every one preferred to talk to him over the intercom,although he was not aware of the reason. Wadhwa also had a weakness for women. He would approach the computer operators, Latha and Sudha for giving them the work sheet every morning. The girls were so smart they used to open the drawers of their table open so that he couldn't get close. They shared the secret with the new recruit Divya and thus saved her from the hunter Wadhwa.

The other interesting character in the branch was the peon Sharma. He was a quiet person glued to the despatch table where his job was to write addresses on the covers before despatch. On the last day of the month when the salary was credited to the account there was a rush near his table. First the staff were not aware of the reason for the rush. Later through the grapewine they heard that the quiet Sharma had two wives and the crowd around his table on the salary day,were none other than his wives and their respective children. The staff nick named him Stud Sharma.

Since the recruitment started in banks, there were two more new recruits who joined the Bank, along with Divya. They were Nikhil and Pravin. Both were financial executives who had done their MBA recently and got placed through the campus placement. The boys were handling lot of customers, but were in trouble most of the time as they didnt know the work and were not trained. Sudha and Latha used to help them. Thus the new recruits and the old staff became good friends in no time.

The cashier of the branch was Mr Prasanna. He was a senior clerk, but a jolly good fellow and used to enjoy the jokes and pranks the others played on him. Mr Prasanna was a bachelor and had a secret crush on Sudha who was a happily married lady. She was friendly and helpful and used to bring lunch for Prasanna most of the days. This kindness made her special for Prasanna who used to enjoy the lip smacking dishes that Sudha shared with him.He also had the pictures of the picnic that the staff went to, on his PC and used to secretly watch them in his spare time. This was known to all the staff and all of them used to tease him about his hobby.

The customers of the branch were quite demanding. They refused to stand in the queue for getting cash and demanded immediate attention. However much the staff tried, they would always have some complaint from customers. This was going on till the arrival of Divya. She had a way with the customers. She would smile and welcome the customers, everytime she saw one in front of her. Her smile would warm the angry customer in no time. Also she was very attentive to their banking needs.

It was in the midst of all this, that a new love story would emerge in the coming days.

Manish pressed the bell for calling the peon. He wanted to see the new recruit Ms Divya. Divya entered the cabin very happily as was her disposition at all times. Manish couldnt help but smile looking at her.
He asked her to sit. As soon as she sat, Manish didnt waste any time in praising her about her work. She was quite taken aback at the direct praise from the big boss.

Divya came out of the cabin blushing and happy. Sudha and Latha exchanged glances with Nikhil and Pravin. All four of them saw red seeing her radiant face. They teased her about Manish all the afternoon. Divya tried to escape but couldn't do anything about it.

Manish on the other hand was not aware of what was going on, and felt let down by himself as he couldn't do much to tell Divya about his feelings for her. He thought he would play the waiting game for some time. Mean while he would try and send some other signals to her.

The branch office had a music system, which played instrumental music at all times during the banking hours. Manish suddenly had an idea. He got some romantic hindi songs cd from home and kept it with him for use later.

It was saturday, a half day for the staff of the bank.The ladies of the branch,used to leave a bit earlier than the men. Divya finished the work for the day and locked her things in the drawer and was just leaving, when suddenly she heard the song...Abhi na jao chodke, ke dil abhi bhara nahi, Abhi abhi tho aayi ho, Bahar banke chaayi ho...she was startled for it was the first time the music system in the office played hindi song. She knew that the controls were at the manager's cabin, and her eyes went to the cabin and met Manish's waiting eyes. He smiled then, and she blushed.Sudha and Latha who were following her couldnt help but notice the exchange, and couldnt wait to tell the rest of the gang.

Meanwhile Divya was angry with herself for blushing in front of everyone. But she couldn't help it. She left the branch hurridly, but she didnt miss the laughter that followed her exit from the other collegues.

Monday, saw Divya entering the branch cautiously. She was quite nervous, for she felt the aftermath of saturday's foolish episode. She quietly sat at her table and started her work.Today she was not her usual smiling self. She was quite nervous, lest everyone teased her. She was quite shy to look at her collegues faces.Manish on the other hand had reached the branch earlier than usual and was waiting for Divya. He saw Divya entering the branch reluctantly and instantly knew that his ploy had worked. He was quite excited. The day went by pretty soon and the work load kept the staff on their toes. Divya didnt leave her seat, even during lunch time, and was not seen by many that day. Manish missed seeing her flying form, which was a usual treat which he waited to see.
Mr. Wadhwa was wondering about the quiet branch and decided to enquire with Divya the reason for her silence. As soon as he reached Divya immediatly opened the drawers and stood up. Divya quitely explained that she had a head ache. Mr Wadhwa left, but the fearsome foursome wouldnt take her excuse seriously. They started teasing her about the previous evening's meaningful song.Even Mr. Sharma had a word of praise for the choice of song that Manish played. All of them were waiting secretly for the song of the day,but wouldnt open their mouth lest the entertainment stopped.

At 5 PM the banking hours were over and the staff were more relaxed,when suddenly the music system started playing ''Thoo chupi hai kahan...Main tadapta yehan. There bin feeka feeka hai mera jaahan..Thoo chupi hai kahan main tadapta yahan....."There was a roar of laughter at some counters.The staff were happy today as Manish had chosen an apt song for the mood of the day, which was "melancholy".Divya was shocked to hear the song.but quietly put her head down.She finished her work for the day and left the branch. She had just reached the bus stop, when she heard the sound of a horn and looked back. It was Manish. She immediatly stood back and was quite afraid and tensed. Manish got out of the car and headed towards Divya. He asked her if he could give her a lift. She declined. He quitely went back and drove away. She was happy that he didnt insist.

Divya actually liked Manish for various reasons. First of all, she felt he was a good manager, an upwardly mobile officer of the Bank who had the best interest of the Bank in his heart. He was good with the staff and respected each one of them, young and old, without bothering at what level they were working. He was liked by one and all and Divya almost everyday used to hear the staff complimenting that by far he was the best manager of the branch.
She was secretly enjoying the attention, she was getting from Manish. and also liked the songs that he was playing.

Next day saw Divya and the other staff of the branch waiting for 5 PM to know what song Manish would play that day.

Any guesses???

Well! it was..Mere Dil mein aaj kya hai...tu kahe to main bata doo..Tere zulf phir sawaroo, Theri maang phir sajadoo..Upon hearing the song, the staff decided that things were more serious than they thought. So they let DIvya go scot free, and decided to wait and see the reaction quietly.Divya blushed at that instant. She secretly looked at the cabin while leaving the office, and saw Manish looking at her intently. She left the branch hurridly.At the bus stop, today she was not waiting for the bus, but for the one person, whom she wanted to meet.Before long, she heard the sound of the horn and at once saw Manish walking towards her. She looked at him and smiled. This time, when Manish offered to drop her, she didnt decline. She went with him and he opened the passenger door for her. She got in and he closed the door for her. Only then did he go to his seat and started the car.Divya was at a loss for words and kept quiet. Manish also was tongue tied. Atlast he broke the silence and asked her where she lived. She gave him the directions. Shyly Manish asked if she liked the songs that he played for her. She answered in the affirmative.He was overjoyed to hear her answer.

In two weeks time, Manish's parents approached Divya's parents and put forth the proposal of marriage of their son with Divya. There was no resistance, as Manish was considered a good catch by Divya's parents. As both were working in the same bank, and would be transferred together wherever they went. More than anything, Manish was very handsome and a successful banker.

Divya was very scared to enter the branch that day as she was supposed to disclose the news about her wedding to the staff. Manish and Divya both had managed to keep the progress in their relation ship a secret till date. Although the staff were suspicious of their friendliness, they didn't think things would develop so fast. They didnt know what a smooth operator Manish was. He didnt want to waste anytime in hooking the best looking girl, lest the other guys had any idea.

There was a thunderous applause as the news reached the ears of the staff like wildfire. The staff and customers both were happy for the lovely couple. Manish heard the sound of clapping and came out of the cabin to enquire the reason for the celebration. Just then, Mr Wadhwa went to him and congratulated him for the wedding announcement,followed by the foursome,Mr Prasad and Sharma.Divya was quietly enjoying all the attention and praise.

Manish and Divya were married in a few days. All the members of the staff and most of the customers graced the occasion and shared in their happiness. They even danced in the barat as they felt they belonged to both the bride and groom's side.After the last guest left,Manish and Divya heaved a sigh of relief. Atlast they were one and alone.
The newly weds soon left for their honeymoon.

Mr. Wadhwa the acting manager of the branch, was eating pan parag and sloppily doing his job. The excitement was over, and the foursome and the rest of the staff, quitely went about doing their work.
Nikhil and Pravin were day dreaming that, soon they would also meet the girl of their dreams.Prasanna was as usual dreaming about his Madam Sudha.

There was a melancholic turn in this story.

Alas! as per the bank rules, both husband and wife cannot work in the same branch. So one of them, either Divya or Manish was sure to be transferred out of the branch. Either way, the branch staff are at a loss, as they cannot hear the romantic songs of yester years in the branch after work.

Lunch at Nagarjuna, Bangalore

2012-01-08T01:52:00.000-08:00

I had the privilege of having a sumptuous vegetarian lunch at NAGARJUNA, Bangalore. It was the first time that I was having Andhra Meals. I have become a big fan of Andhra food.

The flavours of each and every dish was distinct. The meal spoke for itself. It had a character which helped identify the ingredients in each and every item. There was a celebration in the tongue with fireworks happening in the tastebuds.
The food served on the banana leaf was colourful. There was not much noise on our table, as each one was engrossed in tasting and enjoying the artistically prepared meal.

Before long the feast came to an end. The satiated smiles from the diners were quite evident. I would advocate people to try eating at Nagarjuna, atleast once to celebrate lunch time meals.

geetha, the satisfied soul..

Every day life..

2012-01-06T23:31:00.000-08:00

Since the new year, there is a rush in my brain, a need to put my thoughts on to the paper. My life has taken a new turn recently.I underwent a shoulder surgery and have a slight handicap, with my left hand in the sling ( will remain so for the next three months). But that doesn't deter my resolve to put things on paper.

I have always wanted to write. But then, the worry was, how to put the thoughts into words. It is easy to narrate some random thoughts as it is,but stories are another thing altogether.
But since the operation less than a month back, my brain was at a free end. On new year day I suddenly decided to write.

Armed with the strong will, I logged into the blogger and put my hand on the keyboard. Believe me I didn't know what I was going to write. There wasn't even a thread of a story in my mind. But i didn't chicken out. I started just typing, typing and typing. Before long I had a story or a so called story on the page. Relieved I published it without reading, lest I deleted it.

When I read the story afterwards, I wondered whether it was I who wrote it. Any way, I gained some courage that day.
Immediatly called up Simi, ( my daughter) and asked her to read the story. She said it was good. So I left it as it is.
My friend Murli also praised the effort, however had a word of caution about being feminine in the writing. Kala my friend from Australia also praised me, and encouraged me to write more. Same evening Nimi ( My elder daughter)called me from US. I asked her to read the story. She was all praise for my attempt. Although she was critical about the punctuations and the rhyming names of characters.

Brimming with the confidence thus gained,I have been writing stories in my blog. My facebook friends are also very encouraging. I hope to write more, straight from the heart...

Agony and Ecstasy (short story)

2012-01-05T22:36:00.000-08:00

The shrill sound of the alarm woke, John from deep sleep.The work pressures kept him from sleep lately. June, his wife of two years slept peacefully next to him, oblivious of the loud alarm.

The incessant rain, brought the traffic to a chaotic standstill. John was listening to the radio, which was giving information about the traffic on different parts of the city. He was wondering, how does it help if all the roads are blocked with traffic.

The meeting with the new boss was routine, nothing spectacular emerged out of it. The plans for expansion were tabled a week back, but nothing was moving lately. Added to that, the unrest in the factory by labourers slowed down the production. The new boss, Samir Malhotra had just taken charge and was just getting to know the Indian way of working, having just returned from his foreign sojourn.

John was thoughtful, coming back to his work station. He was upset that the project was taking time in getting the approval from the bosses. He was helpless and had to just play the waiting game.

Lunch time, came and went.John was busy giving finishing touches to the financials of the project, which was getting altered, on a day to day basis, with the stock market playing havoc in the prices of raw materials and other related things.He was praying fervently for the take off of his pet project.

Gods seem to have heard the heartfelt prayers of John, for 4 PM saw the meeting being convened again, and this time, a beaming John came out of the board room, and everyone around the office clapped for him encouraging him for the project take off, which was very vital for all of them as well, as it concerned progress for the company on the whole.

He was whistling his favourite tune as he entered the elevator. June was surprised to see the happy face of her husband as he entered the flat.He slept peacefully that night and was up even before the alarm.

The earth shattering sound of some crash came from somewhere up. The earth was shaking, and the furniture inside the office was moving from one end to the other in the impact of the earthquake. The first thought in the minds of the people around were to run for safety. John, was different. He wanted to help the people before he saved his life.
He helped all the ladies and the older staff to get out of the office building.He was the last one to leave the building.

The loss due to Earthquake was phenomenal to the company. Although there was no loss of life, the setback to the company had a negative impact on the new expansion project. John's dream of going ahead with the dream of heading the expansion project thus suffered a sad setback.

What must have happened to poor john?

He is a changed man now, having seen death so close. He realised that there is no point in getting workedup about things beyond one's control.Life teaches lessons, and one learns skills of living from it. When one is thus ready to face the uncertain world with the skills thus learnt, life springs surprises.

John today received a mail from his overseas office, giving him permission for the project, to be started in a different place. His happiness knew no bounds, but this time,he took things calmly.

Driving back John was humming his favourite tune, dreaming about his future armed with,confidence and perseverence and love for work, as his ammunition.

America, here I come!!!!!!!!!said he.

A fine life ( short story)

2012-01-03T22:36:00.000-08:00

The city opened its eyes to the downpour. It was quite unexpected, since it was the winter. And winter downpours are not heard of in the past years.The inmates of Correa Orphanage too were quite lazy to get up today, the cold and the damp weather, inducing more sleep and curling in the uncozy beds of the Orphanage.Anjana, got up from the bed, reluctantly. But the duty calls were not to be ignored. She had the kitchen duty today. Making coffee and heating milk for the children, and also making rotis for the breakffast couldnt be left undone. She hurried through the corridor into the kitchen. The heat and smoke from the Chulha provided the much needed respite from the cold. She got herself engaged in her duties.

Anjana was an 18 year old inmate, staying in the orphanage from birth. She was lucky to have managed to finish her higher secondary class, though with a pass class. Although she had the choice of moving out to some other orphanage which arranged for higher education, she preferred to be in the company of her brothers and sisters from the orphanage,whom she considered to be her only kith and kin. She wanted to be the mother to them, the person about whom she only imagined and dreamed about.

The whistle from the kettle broke her reverie and she got busy finishing the job on hand. The bell indicating breakfast rang soon after.Anjana saw herself, feeding the small kids with milk in the bottle.Sending the children to school was another of her duties she enjoyed. The van with kids left the place and there was the much needed peace and quiet. She had a few moments to spare and got down to drinking her tea and have her breakfast.

The beauty in Anjana, was in her eyes. She had a depth in them, which left many a people stare at her. Although it was very sparingly that she got the luxury of meeting people.From the outside world, the children in the orphanage appeared to be an unhappy lot,but the truth was that they accepted their situation and were happy . They had their didi who took good care of them. No one wanted to leave the place. At the same time, there was this fear of being taken away to some foster home, which might seem to be a boon from outside, but here in Correa Orphanage, the children wanted to be left alone.

The coming sunday was a nightmare for them, for the management had scheduled visit of childless parents who were coming to meet the propsective children. They hated the day, for they were paraded in front of the parents innumerable times.Anjana usually consoled the children with the benefits of being in foster homes.Mr and Mrs Natarajan, from Mumbai, were one of the parents scheduled to visit the orphanage on sunday. They were a childless couple living their life in the agony after being in the hospitals undergoing treatment for conception for many years.Quite recently they decided to go for adoption as a possible solution to their childless state.Mr Natarajans brother, Arvind used to live with them from the time he was a teenager. He was quite fond of his anna and manni and never left their house although he finished college and had his own successful computer accessories business in mumbai close to his brother's house.

It was a sunny sunday that the orphanage woke up to. The apparent fear of displacement was looming in the minds of children today, and each one of them were locked in their own thoughts.Anjana woke them up, a bit later than usual as it was a holiday. She even tried cheering them seeing the sombre mood, but to no avail.At 10 am sharp, Mr and Mrs Natarajan, followed by Arvind, who also was enthused to meet his would be nephew or neice reached the venue.The doors of the orphanage opened with a creech and the visitors were ushered in to the waiting room.Mr Correa himself was present to meet the hopefull parents.It was Anjana who went to announce that the children are ready to be seen. The moment she reached the waiting room, she was amused to see the third person in the room. Anjana's eyes met Arvind's and held it for sometime.Arvind couldnt help but stare, for he was captivated by the depth of the soulful eyes.She gathered her wits and informed them that they were expected at the office room to meet the children.Arvind was in a trance. Mrs Natarajan noticed the change in her brother-in-law,and nudged her husband also to see the stance of his beloved brother. They started teasing Arvind, for he seemed to be smitten by Anjana, and he felt as if he had known her for ever.

The next one hour went by, with the visitors seriously getting to know the kids. Arvind was most happy to see the children and started playing with them. He was in love with their innocence. Time flew! Nobody wanted to leave the place. Mr and Mrs Natarajan reluctantly left the place with Arvind, unable to choose one child. For they liked all of them. Even the children were happy to be around them, for they weren't partial to any one child, as was the case with all the hopeful parents. Anjana also loved them, and for she most she liked the twinkle in the eyes of Arvind on meeting her and also the senior Mr and Mrs Natarajann.

The Natarajans' got around to talking with Arvind after lunch. The boy was in a trance from the time he came back from the orphanage. Suddenly, Arvind gathered courage and blurted out" I want to marry Anjana". The senior Natarajans' were shocked to hear that. But he insisted that he has made up his mind to marry Anjana and go and live in the Correa Orphanage,if she could have him and also if the management allowed. He was ready to work from the orphanage and provide support for them.He had decided that he didnt want to have his own children for he would be the father of scores of children in the orphange. He argued that there won't be any opposition from the management for they were getting a free provider for the orphanage.

Mr and Mrs Natarajan and the management of Correa Orphanage, soon had a meeting to decide the possible turn of events, surely for the benefit of the children. Mr.Correa admitted that he was elated by the news, since the thought of Anjana leaving the orphanage on her marriage was worrying him a lot. He loved her like his own daughter.
He was most pleased to conduct their marriage. The children of the orphanage were a happy lot, for they got a dada, now as well as their didi.

The strong April summer was not a deterrent today to the inmates of the orphanage. Today they were on their way to Lonavla for a day's picnic, led by their dada and didi in their new van, which dada had gifted to the children for such outings.Anjana dressed in a pretty salwar kammez came out carrying a year old baby, the new inmate of Correa Orphanage, left by some unfortunate parent, in the doorstep one fine morning.Arvind was the next to come out followed by the cheering inmates of the Correa Orphanage. This time there were two more people, to come out Mr and Mrs Natarajan who came with heavy cases of food for their dear children. The fact was they had adopted the orphanage itself instead of one kid.

What a beautiful day it was...

To Happy Beginnings.....(short story)

2012-01-03T00:14:00.000-08:00

THE PAST:- Manju, a beautiful girl past her graduation, moves to the city, where her future is going to unfold.. Sanjay, the handsome boy well settled in life and single, waiting for the love of his life and future to bring happiness and fulfillment. Love happens! Marriage follows with the blessings of eager parents,and they lived happily ever after,till the present.

THE PRESENT:- Manju and Sanjay were in a dilemma.A very serious affair as far as they are concerned, but a trivial one for any one else,to have a baby now or not. Married for just less than two years, they are a loving couple, full of life, living an enviable life in the city. Manju the devoted wife, is headstrong, independent and very smart, while her husband Sanjay is intelligent, good looking and very loving. Manju has firm ideas about life, that she wants to see the world before she settles down to motherhood. Sanjay is ready when his love is ready for take off. Everyone knows that, they are going to be excellent parents, and the child born to them, is going to be lucky,getting all the fine qualities of both the parents. But the foreign tour is the pause,before which the son/or daughter cannot be born..

THE FUTURE:- The flight is on time! Manju and Sanjay reach the airport fully loaded with their dreams of the exotic far away west. Hours of travel later.They are now in their suite enjoying each other's company,waiting for more enjoyment that Europe has to offer. The days fly off as if in a dream,visiting the culture and tasting the local cuisine,both are wrapped in each other and the places that they visit.Europe is in love with these two as much as them being in love with the place. The dream vacation is getting over and the dream is also getting fulfilled. The trip back is event less,both heady with the love, sights and food shared. Manju is today a little confused and calls up her husband. Sanjay is worried to listen to his wife, and her confusion. Decides to call up his mother and mother in law, before calling a doctor.Something seems to be amiss. The fully pregnant Manju is being wheeled to the Labour Room followed by the doting husband..the coterie of friends and family are waiting eagerly to hear the good news. The ring tone, for SMS,startles the otherwise quiet lobby. "YIPPEE! It is a girl!" comes the good news from inside the OT. Sanjay the proud father comes with the bundle of joy in his hands and shows it off to the waiting loved ones... Manju this time follows in a streatcher, beaming,her life having just got a new meaning,a new role, a new purpose, a new mother that she has become. I wish each one had a peek like this into their future, dilemmas will have a natural ending...

Sense and Sensibilities (my first short story

2012-01-01T22:44:00.000-08:00

A strange discomfort enveloped Niyati this morning..The day seemed to be long and unending..cooking, cleaning, reading didnt interest her. Neeraj had left for work, and Sanju was playing with his friends.. Last night's fight with Neeraj was the first thought on waking. Was I being unfair to him, thought Niyati.. Unending phone calls, waking hours, sleeping hours and what not.. What was the need for someone to be on the phone for so long..who was the caller?, all these thoughts crossed her mind every time the phone rang. Last night was the first time she gathered enough courage to confront him with the questions ringing in her mind for so many days.. The reaction from Neeraj was very shocking. Instead of giving a possible explanation, he was furious and snapped at her.

Niyati spent the day deep in thoughts, thinking of the possible reason for the phone calls and also Neeraj's unfair reaction..Lost in thoughts, she first didnt hear the phone ringing..Breaking into her thoughts, at last the sound pierced her ears..when suddenly she ran and picked up the phone.. Relief spread through her when she heard her best friend Sonya's voice on the other end.Her's was the one voice, that could make a difference to her otherwise bad mood. After exchanging pleasantries Niyati, straight came to the topic of her current worry..Sonya listened carefully to her friend's woes and instantly knew what was to be done..Secretly exchanged her idea to her best friend Niyati... Encouraged by her friend and her mood uplifted by the secret exchanged,Niyati felt quite happy and light and started crooning her favourite Lata song.

Neeraj entered the house at the usual time, with a frown on his face, caused by hours of stressful work. Niyati was waiting for him, all dressed up and smiling..There was no reaction from neeraj to her attire or demeanour. He went to the study without even acknowledging her presence.Today even this did not alter her pleasant mood.. Tea and snacks later, when Neeraj was alternating between watching tv and talking over his mobile and niyati was in the kitchen, did the landline started ringing..Niyati ran from the kitchen to take the call..She took the handset and went back to the kitchen whispering into the phone. She looked at Neeraj from the sideways, and saw him looking at her slightly distracted from his phonecall. She continued talking on the phone for another 15 mins before hanging up. She went back to the kitchen smiling to herself and singing her favourite tune. Neeraj finished his call and started watching news on TV. 30 mins went by when the shrill voice of the landline broke the silence of the people living in the house. Niyati came running to take the call. This time Neeraj stopped watching TV and was observing her. She was quite excited talking into the phone. She ran into the kitchen with the phone quite heady talking. Neeraj was quite intrigued by the unexpected turn of events. Instead of him, today Niyati was busy. Dinner was a quiet affair, with both neeraj and niyati eating lost in their own thoughts. Suddenly the landline started ringing and Niyati ran once again to take the call. She never came back to the table, but went to the balcony with the phone talking quietly. Now this was too much for Neeraj to take.. He finished his dinner and retired into the bedroom.

It was half an hour later that Niyati entered the bedroom, happy and chirpy after the phone call. Neeraj couldnt help but wonder, about her happiness and chirpiness. He felt a bit jealous, and possessive about his wife. For the first time that day, he actually looked at Niyati, her face. He felt she looked beautiful, inspite of the slight tiredness caused by the day's work. She was young and had a good figure to match her beautiful face. Suddenly he felt afraid. He thought about the phone calls that came from the time he entered the house in the evening. He was lost in thoughts, wondering who would be calling her so many times. After tossing and turning in the bed all night, he decided to take up the matter with her in the morning.

Neeraj got up with a heavy head, not having properly rested. He saw that Niyati was as usual dressed and busy in the kitchen. He slowly went to the kitchen and stood behind her. She was quite startled to see him, so close to her in the kitchen, which was her domain, and which he never inhabited. Neeraj held his wife tenderly from behind and kissed her ears. She was stunned at first, but sank slowly to the feeling he was generating in her. She reciprocated his actions and hugged him back. When slowly he asked her, who was it that you were talking to from yesterday, so many times.. She at first didnt hear the question, lost in the love that she was feeling for him. He repeated the question before she heard it. She stiffened suddenly, looked at him in the eye and asked him, Who is it that you are talking day in and day out while at home. This time he too stiffened, and looked strangely at her. He then said, I get calls from my workplace, and I cant avoid them. He was surprised that she didnt know about it. Niyati heard him quietly, and asked him, What about me? I wait for you all day, and when you come back home, you stick to your office work. I am bored. Neeraj suddenly felt guilty, looking at his loving wife, whom he has ignored all these days. But suddenly he was reminded about the phonecalls that Niyati was getting. He felt afraid. He thought to himself, would she have found a boyfriend or something? what am I going to do? With all the doubts in his mind, he asked the same question again to Niyati. This time Niyati looked at him tenderly and started laughing uncontrollably. Neeraj was shocked to see her reaction. He was confused and insisted she tell him who the caller was. Niyati waited till her laughter subsided, and then kissed him softly, and whispered in his ears the name of the caller. This time Neeraj was the one rolling in laughter.

Greatness!

2011-12-30T20:49:00.000-08:00

I always used to wonder about the measure of greatness...Is it the following, that one has,or the amount of good work that one does for the mankind or is it something else?.....I think a great man is ever humble,whose main attribute is the humility in every action, one who is not aware of the number of people who are following him and also one who never brags of his achievements...It is not difficult to spot one, for we can feel the aura around the person, if you are subtly aware of the energy around the place...Today morning, the last day of this beautiful year that is passing by, I was suddenly reminded of the retirement of our bank's GM Mr Badshah.In order to wish him, i sent an sms. Within no time I got a call from him.I was pleasantly surprised to talk to him on his busy day of retirement. It was a humbling experience for me.This set me thinking about greatness of being....I salute you, Badshah sir, You are indeed a greatman!

Purpose of living

2011-03-28T05:41:00.000-07:00

As long as the children are dependent on you, the purpose is very clear..to take care of them. Then when they leave the nest and have a life of their own to live,the same purpose is no more relevant.

I was surprised when my daughter told me that I keep needing you in my life because I want you to have that as the reason for living.
It amused me no end to realise that the child is scared that her mother will stop living if that purpose of taking care of her gets over.
I told her that it is not true.
I need to know that my children are strong and can take care of themself. Only then can I turn my life to other meaningful things. I made her understand my point of view.
I am happy that we discussed this.

Life in the new lane!

2010-02-23T09:49:00.000-08:00

To move forward or not, is the question ringing in my ears, all the time. I am a sceptic. But being the blind kitten, that I am, I never question fate. I am almost always thrown in situations, which I dont envisage. But, by the sheer pride of my being I manage to sail through the rough waters with only my guts in hand.
I feel, god wants it this way, and it will be thus. Who am I to question?

Life has been kind so far...

I am not sure if I have to be ready for retirement.Not knowing what is in store, is fearsome, but thrilling. Its like a suspense drama or a mystry movie..How is my life going to be ten years from now??I cant wait to know. But it is like the ten month wait to know the sex of the baby in the olden days.

I feel free, to live as I please. But when one has freedom, discipline automatically follows.It is a happy soul which knows the boundless freedom, and draws its own boundaries.

Fitness is the new mantra. I eat just as much to live. I feel like being healthy, and so the turn to fitness.

I wish happiness for all. Let earth be a smiling planet...

Thoughts on this day...23/10/09

2009-10-22T19:33:00.000-07:00

IT WAS SHARAD POORNIMA DAY,
A MOONLIT NIGHT,
WHEN THE KNOCK CAME,

MY FAIRY PRINCESS MADE HER APPEARENCE,
A FEW HOURS LATER.
ALL PINK AND BEAUTIFUL,
I COULDNT TAKE MY EYES OFF HER!
THE APPLE OF MY EYE,SHE STOLE EVERYONE'S HEART..
A BUNDLE OF JOY,SHE WAS A HANDFUL!

WENT TO SCHOOL TO READ AND LEARN
TEACHERS'PET SHE BECAME!
SINGING WAS A PASSION,
DANCING STOOD ONLY A SECOND CHANCE.
SPORTING WAS NOT LEFT FAR BEHIND,
AN ALLROUNDER SBOAN SHE BECAME.

SHE GREW UP TO BE A DAMSEL,
COLLEGE HELPED HER TONE HER SKILLS,
QUEST FOR KNOWLEDGE LED THE WAY.

SHE FLEW THE NEST, TO TRY OUT THE WEST,
FOUND HER PRINCE,WAITING THERE.
AWAY THEY WENT TO START THEIR LIFE
A HAPPY AND CONTENTED SOUL SHE BECAME..

SHE LIVES A DREAM
TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE
WITH HER LOVE AND COMPASSION,
TO THE DOWNTRODDEN.
HER CALL WILL COME, SO SHE SAYS
THE DAY IS NOT FAR OFF, PATIENTLY SHE WAITS!
A LIFE OF LOVE SHE LEADS
BRINGING JOY TO ONE AND ALL.

HERE'S WISHING HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
TO 'POORNIMA' MY HEARTBEAT
MY LOVE AND MY STRENGTH..

The thought continues...

2009-08-06T21:40:00.000-07:00

As rightly pointed out by my buddy, geography has nothing to do with one being a conformist or not..He said one can be near to people and be far away in mind..

This afternoon,I was down and out, in USA and felt like talking to someone, and to my surprise, comes a call from Australia the other side of the globe, as an answer to my need.

I agree with you fully about distance not being a matter at all, and hence humbly bow down.

A penny for a thought...

2009-08-06T07:19:00.001-07:00

I had a talk with a friend, yesterday which set me thinking..He believes one shouldnt live as per the wishes or whims of others. He said he has seen too much in life to care about what other people think.But I told him that it is difficult to live life that way,as we are living in a society.

I feel, the care for society which also includes our dear and near ones is more, when we live in our country. When one is away and living in a far away land, such things don't matter too much as we do not meet them often or talk to them.

All the same, it needs courage to be a non conformist.

I would love to be one, and wish I get the courage.

I am now a second time visitor to US

2009-07-26T22:23:00.000-07:00

I consider myself very fortunate to be in the midst of love, in a place in which I feel I have a past connection. This time since I came alone, the agenda is very clear. To let loose. The time is what is left loose..

I believe the most expensive thing in this universe for me, is FREEDOM. I enjoy my solitude and freedom and my companion is TIME.

I go out for walks and the beauty that surround me, keeps me upbeat. I experience, new wonders,and that adds to the spice of life.

A sated soul, I am,

Thank you god! for this gift....

Pure Strength comes from within!!!

2009-07-26T21:42:00.000-07:00

I had the good fortune, of meeting my classmate from Primary School with family yesterday,after a span of about 30 years.

I saw a couple, very much in love,happily married with two boys leading a successful life.

We had so much to catch up on... Time flew !!!
I was very happy to know that my friend like me, had come out of the many trials of his life, with flying colors and was continuing to do so with renewed vigour
Meeting them, created a great impact, on me.. Life exerts itself, any which way it pleases with us and it is only our attitude, that determines if we have succeeded or not.

I saw strength yesterday,which matched none that I know of and am happy to be in touch,with that part of my childhood which never left my heart.

A confused state of mind.

2008-08-13T09:53:00.000-07:00

It is so easy to be confused..I think that is the natural state with some people. Take on many things at a time, and be confused.

Multitasking is something I cannot do and even if I try, I fail miserably. I have seen people do umpteen number of things ...god knows how their mind deciphers each job and puts them in the correct file in the brain.

Mine gets jammed very soon..so i dont even try.

But all said and done, I feel I am a failure in today's world, when the need of the hour is doing today's work yesterday, and how else but multitasking will help achieve such high expectations.

A strong rock but a helpless mother today!!

2008-07-19T10:01:00.002-07:00

She has been always like this...a little too sensitive health wise...A perfect life otherwise.
She has been sick many times in life and I was the life guard that she held on to...Like a strong rock I used to be around her to be her support.

Today as I write this I feel helpless...she is lying in the hospital and the so called rock is away in another corner...She is well looked after, but what about me????Today broke another misconception I had about myself. I feel I am needed, by them but the reverse is more than true i guess...I need the support of my supporting them for my survival...

I have to learn to live..I taught them to be alone, but failed to learn the lesson myself...what an irony...So life teaches these simple lessons for our own good..
I had mine today...

I am the same as my mother...I know now

2008-07-19T10:01:00.001-07:00

Mom stays with us girls...in turn...and everytime she comes to one place, we crib about her planning menus...she wants to know in advance about the menu..and the busy life that we lead, gives us less time to think about such mundane things...we used to wonder..why is it so important to plan a menu so much in advance....so it went on and on..and she never changed...and had her way..

The wheel of time turned and I became a mother in law myself...i visited my daughter in her married home..
One day I heard from my friend that she was visiting me with her husband in the weekend which was a good 5-6 days away.
I asked my daughter what was the menu for the weekend, thinking I can buy the things and be ready.

I was shocked when she told me....ma ...u are just like grandma...
It set me thinking...and I found to my dismay that she was right...

I HAD A NEW RESPECT FOR MY MOTHER SINCE THEN...

My glass is half full.....

2008-07-19T10:01:00.000-07:00

For every coin there are two sides...heads or tail...so also in life...there are two ways of looking at things.

There is always a positive way ..like a glass half full...rather than a glass half empty..

I had the company of my husband in my life for 15 years...i would say...god was kind enough to give me 15 years of bliss..and not less.He left when his time was up and my train moved on.

The Kids are grown now and are in the crossroads of their life, when change brings worry and failure brings fear in their minds...At every turn they find me with something positive to say and suddenly they see things differently...

I find that...slowly this is becoming a habit with them...to see things differently , positively...

I guess, the glasses that were half emply have been filled in half now....

Singly content....

2008-07-17T11:29:00.001-07:00

The togetherness, we shared in the month we three were around each other, filled so many voids,I set the birds free when I returned...
It feels great, even being alone...The loved ones far away and near,care for you no matter where.. Beyond time and space there is a bond, that keeps the beads around the thread intact..

A Visit to the Big Apple

2008-07-17T11:29:00.000-07:00

A traveller, with no choice, was my status during the time I left home for a period of precisely 33 days..Everything happens, if you just let it be.
I didnt will it...

I had a feeling of deja vu most of the time. May be in my dreams, in an awakened state or not, i had seen the visions that greeted my eyes. I feasted my eyes on the fare spread before me and considered myself lucky.

I feel, in life we have to be smart, i.e do things without thinking too much, or think too far into it.
Most of the time,gambles pay this way.Instinct plays a big role in this. You may not do certain things if you think too much. On first thought something may seem right, then other things play a role and you change your decision.
I never let second thoughts come in the way of action. And so far it has paid rich dividents...

I came back, fully refreshed, ready to hit the routine with a spring in my step and a song on my lips.I felt blessed.

I feel sated and I go about doing my job with ease...
I wish the same happiness to everyone who seek the same. I got it free, and wish the same for all.

17/12/2007

2007-12-17T19:17:00.000-08:00

MY BABY IS NOW 21

I LAID MY HANDS ON HER,A DOLL, I SAY

A BUNDLE OF JOY, AN EYEFUL AND A HEARTFUL

MADE ME, HER DADA AND HER SISTER PROUD,

A BUDDING DANCER,SHE WAS THE TOAST OF THE FAMILY,

A LOVING SOUL,A BEAUTIFUL PERSON

ALWAYS LIVED HER LIFE ON HER TERMS

SHE STOOD HER GROUND ALL THE TIME

AND WE GAVE IN TO HER WAYS

SHE HAD NO EXPECTATIONS, NO COMPLAINTS,

SHE UNDERSTOOD EVERYONE, AND THEIR WAYS.

SHE CLUNG TO ME WHEN SHE LOST HER DAD

HER SIS, SHE HERO WORSHIPPED

TODAY SHE IS ON HER OWN, ON HER 21ST

WE REGRET WE ARE NOT WITH HER

THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN HER BEST ONE SO FAR,

AND THE FIRST TIME WE ARE NOT WITH HER.

MY HEART FEELS HEAVY, WHEN I WRITE,

MY BABY HAS GROWN AND FLOWN,

SHE IS HER OWN PERSON, AND AM A PROUD MOM

I WISH HER ALL THE BEST, BLESSING AND ALL

HER DADA MUST BE SMILING,

TO SEE HIS LITTLE ONE STAND TALL, ALONE!

WE ARE WITH HER IN SPIRITS!

SHE IS SIMI! OUR TREASURE, A GIFT FROM GOD!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

COURAGE

2007-11-06T07:45:00.003-08:00

Girija is a friend of mine at work...She was once a homemaker, whose husband was an officer in a nationalised bank..they have a daughter. The husband was transferred to Assam..and the mother and daughter were living at their native place. One day while he was returning to Assam from a holiday , in the train, he breathed his last...god knows what happened...He had a heart attack.

The mother and daughter were devastated...The bank gave his job to his wife on compassionate grounds..The mother daughter duo picked up the threads of their lives and started living..Then disaster struck again...the girl had brain tumor...because of which the smart girl that she was, turned to be a dullhead..she lost her speech and sense slowly..They went to Chithirai Thirunal Hospital, kerala to operate on the girl and after a lot of trouble, she was saved. They returned to their native place in tamilnadu and the mother resumed her duties in the bank. She locks up her daughter everyday before coming to work. The girl is slowly recovering.

Recently, on a saturday girija was working as a cashier ( the usual cashier being on leave).With the festival season in place, the crowd in the bank was unreasonable..in the bargain, dont know how..she somehow lost Rs 50,000/-

Every one present in the bank tried to help her trace the money..but to no avail...at the end of the day, she had to take a loan from a friend and replace the funds in the bank...

I saw her crying that day in the cubicle...

But I was dismayed....when on monday ...I saw the lady briskly entering the bank and going to her desk to start working...there was no trace of pain or trouble on her face...she was her usual self smiling and attending to customers...

I was relieved to see this...Actually girija had moved forward...in her life...she had left behind her pain and troubles and decided to let bygones be bygones, having learnt a bitter lesson...

I admired her COURAGE then....

I feel god selects people with courage to give pain...She is indeed an example...of LIFE itself.

I learnt a lesson...that day.

CONVICTION!!

2007-11-06T07:45:00.002-08:00

Success and failure are two sides of the same coin, but I always wonder, why is someone successful and why someone is not...

I feel one has to have a conviction, a belief in ones own abilities, faith and willingness to do hardwork. These are the prerequisites for success..

I always used to tell the kids, suppose you know there is a treasure in an area...what would one do...just keep digging at different places ..but I feel, if a person digs in just one place, with a conviction that he will find the treasure there, no matter how deep, he is sure to find the treasure..

This I feel is the trick to success..no matter what, never tire, do the same work with conviction and success is bound to touch your feet..and sour your spirits high in the sky...

COMPENSATION

2007-11-06T07:45:00.001-08:00

I once read an essay by EMERSON on Compensation!

It was at a time in my life when I was down and out..having lost everything in my life, my anchor, my friend, philosopher, guide, my partner...

It was then that a well meaning friend gave this essay to read!

Emerson in his essay said...Life always comes back in a circle, It compensates! for what it takes away...There is always a hightide for a low tide..There is always a day after a night, and look at the seasons! Everything in nature is a balancing act...

It was a very comforting feeling to know that a compensation was on its way to me...I waited for it and believe me I got it....

I once went to a christian convention, where I heard someone say..God has a plan for you..and everything happens according to the plan..so no use worrying...If you think god punished you for something...be happy atleast god chose you for that...and as a mother always comforts a child after reprimanding, so also the god ..so wait for your turn...

I looked forward for the comforting, and before long, and till date am enjoying the love of god...

I do not feel bitter about life..I strongly believe life is a journey, a train journey...you have your co-passengers, who alight when their destination comes, some others board the train and remain with you till their station comes...

Life is easy, if only you let it be......

AROUND THE BEND WE WILL MEET!

2007-11-06T07:45:00.000-08:00

Here I am! wishing I were dead too...

The world came crashing , one day,

leaving me standing by,

God took away a flower in his garden,

my soulmate! my love!

we journeyed together for a decade and half,

grew up together, loved and faught together,

now I am helplessly gazing standing by.

The girls hanging on to their mom,

relieved atlast that the agony has ended,

Pain taking over their dad, the screams! the cries

now will not echo in the young ears...

seeing a withering form, day in and day out

they stood mutely standing by....

The society didnt leave me free,

the tag of a widow came very easy

the red kumkum was denied very cruelly

I wept, at their mercilessness...

couldnt do a thing, was lost, standing by..

The world was an easy place to live

till the shadow of his self left me

then came the blank calls

to scare me,and get me running!

but i lived on..with his spirit standing by..

The girls grew up, turned the clock forward...

beautiful damsels, made us proud

I lived for them, smiled for them

and thus moved, the LIFE, with us standing by....

Today the young birds have left the nest,

with their chosen ones,to make their own,

now I await my turn, to be with him

waiting for my love, standing by...

Around the bend we will meet,

were his last words...

and till we meet, I will live! standing by..

I view life like this!!! now

2007-07-08T06:41:00.000-07:00

Marriages are made in heaven but lived on earth.....

I look at, life after marriage,now from far...as a parent looking at the child starting to live their lives with the new partner...

As I am looking I find, it is not easy for today's generation to live the first few years of married life as it was in our generation.

I also know, the reason why it seemed to be easy for our generation.

In our generation, I find, one of the partners almost always gave up the arguement or want,in favour of the other, that way avoiding most of the crisis situations.. .

Where as now, our children grow up with more freedom, more choices and an easier life, with easy money, or more luxuries...

The freedom that they get from the parents is taken for granted. But when they choose to get married and stay with the partner, the same kind of freedom cannot be expected.

Initially it is difficult for both to come to terms. Loving from far is very easy compared to two people living all the time together.

It is only after a few years that,both come to a common ground and meet half way...Till such time one need to constantly understand, respect and give each other the much needed space to still grow, in the new found proximity.

Its raining Life!!

2007-06-25T20:21:00.000-07:00

We are in the midst of a downpour today. The rain gods are indeed pleased with mankind I guess...I was scared of the news about SIRUVANI dam water level going down..and stuff like water cut in the offing, if it doesnt rain...etc

Talking of rains....

A funny thing happened last year..
My friend asked me, if we get a special umbrella in Kerala,(which pioneers in the latest model umbrellas-strong ones.)which has a button to close the umbrella. I mean we have all seen umbrellas with a button to open it...she said she has heard that there is this umbrella which has a button to close it..
I hadnt heard of it, however promised to get it for her.
It so happened I went to the shop and asked the shopkeeper I want an umbrella with a button to close...and he gave me..
I happily brought it back to mumbai and gave it to my friend..
No one felt like checking it ....
One day my friend took this umbrella and went shopping. It started raining suddenly.She started pressing the button to open the umbrella and it didnt open..in that confusion, she got drenched fully. She came to know later that this particular umbrella doesnt have a button to open....it has to be opened the manual way, it has one button only to close the umbrella...
Even to this day she teases me about the umbrella...

Living with Elders!!!

2007-06-24T20:10:00.000-07:00

I have had the good fortune of being always in the midst of elders. The children as they were growing, were brought up in the lap of love and care of their grandmothers. Be it paternal or maternal. They were there to take care of them when we were busy pursuing the jobs to earn the hard to be found moolah.

yesterday I happened to go to a friend's house for dinner. What I saw there made me very happy. My friend is the only bread winner there. The wife is a housemaker. There were three elders in the house.All of them above 65years.
My friend has a daughter who is about 7 years old.I know it must be really a strain for him with 5 adults and a child, with the kind of salary that a nationalised bank officer draws.But put that aside, there were so many positive things happening in that house..
I was told that all the five adults spend the morning getting the kid ready and send her to school. There is always the grandfather to take her to the danceclass. The grandmother to tell stories, and to take her to the park.
The kid is very smart and well brought up. No tantrums of anykind.

The parents happily take care of the elders and the elders take care of the youngone...it was really wonderful to see the comraderie..

My old mother was there for me to set up the house when we came here...

I love the seniors, I value their contributions to our lives and wish and pray that each elder feels loved and respected in every home.

GOD BLESS THEM

GOD IS GREAT!!

2007-06-16T20:07:00.000-07:00

She called me from the far away land, may be hoping for comfort! I could hear the distress in the voice...The experiment wasn't going right as expected. As a last resort she was trying something to save it...
As she was walking to college, fearing what was waiting there, she called me...

I started singing the HANUMAN CHALISA..and she joined in..we both recited the prayers on phone over the seven seas....I am sure she felt good after that, very confident that someone is watching out for her.

Two hours later, I heard a happy voice saying, IT WORKED!! MA...

I thank god! for the small mercy!!!!

I truly believe"there's light at the end of the tunnel"

2007-06-16T05:39:00.000-07:00

Problems come and problems go...they are here to stay,
what is necessary is the strength to tackle them.
The outlook to understand them,the need to solve them
and if it persists, to learn stay with them

God can't save those who cannot save themselves!
why blame someone else always for your sorry state

Geetha(my namesake! my friend) in my bank was crying today.
Her grownup daughter is confined to home, as she is partially paralised, due to a brain surgery. Her husband is no more. she has no sibling support and is alone. She locks up her daughter and comes to work.
she is fighting to keep her daughter alive.

I was very upset to see her in that state. But I am confident about one thing, and feel that the girl is going to be alright..I told geetha to visualise that the daughter is VERY HEALTHY AND MOVING AROUND WITH HER IN COIMBATORE & EVERYWHERE"
This I told her is the first step towards recovery...
I told her to have a strong faith and believe that the recovery has already started and she is going to be fine in no time! and it will happen.

I saw Geetha smile then, wipe her tears and with a confidence hitherto unknown leave the bank...
I pray and wish too that her daughter girija gets well soon....

Amidst simplicity!

2007-06-14T20:35:00.000-07:00

I observe the people around me in coimbatore, be it on the roads, in the neighbourhood or in the bank, I find that there is lot of simplicity around....They are very unassuming. Simple people living a simple life in a simple neighbourhood...
I learn a thing or two from them.
They have eager ears to learn about far away lands...which in this case happens to be mumbai...They feel its a big deal to be in mumbai. I feel like laughing when I see the awe.. Only once you are in mumbai will you know the hardships one has, to start with reaching places in the crowded locals..
The distance, the climate the crowds, and the langauage! all this can intimidate the small town person..it did to me too...I was like a small mouse when I entered the bank as an officer in 2004.
I was scared like hell...
After a few days, I found to my good fortune, there was nothing to be intimadated about...coz no one bothered about you ..everyone was on their own, there was actually no time for them to think of some mouse from coimbatore...I was relieved beyond any words...I realised that the indifference was not because of any superiority complex they had, but due to their own problems...It was good enough for me...
I took over from then on becoming a lioness taking care of my friends, the cubs...and everyone easily let me..
They looked lost when I was bidding them farewell.
In coimbatore I find it very easy to relate to people, first of all they are my own from past, secondly they live without a mask.
Am I glad I am back??
I answer this question again and again and again in the affirmative...

A mother in law...I became

2007-06-12T08:30:00.000-07:00

Wow! It feels great to be back, after nearly two months...I feel like a bird, flying free in the sky..

The wedding on 21/5/2007, monday at guruvayoor was great!!! I gave away a slice of my life to santosh. As I did that, there was a lot of confusion, about who will give the hand of the bride as there is no father...( a small doubt crosses my mind as I write this...is the mother a good enough person to hand a daughter away to her love, or you need a breed of any random MALE, to do that). Have I committed a big crime if I defied their dictates of not letting me give nimi's hand to santosh..at least the priest who performed the wedding didnt mind..he told me to do just that and I did.
Now dont tell me I am making mountains out of mole hills...no I am not..atleast I dont think so...
Mohan was everywhere then...I had him with me...I have saved a bunch of his hair and nails which I carry with me where ever I go. Nimi held on to it fast, as the mangalsutra was being tied...what little we have of his physical being we carried with us...and we shared the moment with him thus.

Back in coimbatore, I feel like a new person...time is a great companion...reading is one of the lost hobbies, I found somewhere in one carton, I carried from mumbai.

I dont miss mumbai at all...that is a great comfort...and am thriving in all the love that awaited me here.

It feels great to know I havent changed a bit...had lost myself somewhere in the crowded mumbai locals...

HAPPY VISHU!!A NEW YEAR...A NEW BEGINNING..

2007-04-14T17:51:00.000-07:00

There is an overcrowding in my brain these days...the thoughts are so intermingled that it is impossible to put them in order...however I chose to ignore them and move forward..

Last week amma was'nt too well...suddenly I realised what she means to me...it was a revelation..we tend to take our parents for granted..thinking, they will be beside us always.. that there is a chance ,of her not being near me at anytime ,scared the hell out of me..I felt quite alone..as if I was blind folded and am going down a deep hole or something...
I surfaced only after confirming that all's well with her..and she would still be there for ever...haha, I can vent my feelings thru her...ME THE SELFISH!!!

I feel confident that there is someone watching out for me...as things unfold, I get goosepimples sometimes...If I let nature take its course I find that there is someone making it easy for me...it is very subtle thing... but being aware I am can sense it..and its a great satisfaction..

All's set for the Wedding... slowly we are moving towards the D DAY...am filled with mixed feelings...but comforted all the same that we have come this far...

Hope and pray that the new year vishu...today will bring in the much needed contentment in everyone's lives...

Getting ready to go back...

2007-03-11T04:49:00.000-07:00

Am awaiting the orders of posting to go back to coimbatore....
Leaving the ever alive Mumbai isnt going to be easy...
I love walking on the streets of south mumbai with its tall buildings and the ever busy pavements.
Never get tired of admiring Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus...
you dont find time running up and down catching local trains..but waiting for the train sometimes I look up to admire the windows the stonework and what not...
Inside the train is another story altogether...
20 years back while travelling in the train, I used to see women cutting vegetables to make food after reaching home..but today I find no one doing that...Yes women of the second class compartments have progressed that much...They read mumbai mirror and midday..or sing and chat...All of them probably have help at home...the life styles having improved one can afford to have help for cooking..Am happy for them.
Will miss all that...the energy of the mumbai women..A pregnant lady boarding the train is a sight one cannot miss anywhere..full blown pregnency doesnt stop them from jumping inside the train before it stops..it is a tact..and they have it...Kudos to the women of mumbai...for successfully tackling the home , work and children too...

I feel am a misfit here..The rush and the stress is killing me..and hence the decision to move.
One can never ask this question " what to do now" in mumbai, there is no time to ponder for anything. Three years flew past in no time...

Don't know what changes await me at coimbatore...keeping my fingers crossed...

Not easy to believe but a truth

2007-03-11T04:32:00.000-07:00

World celebrates International Womens' day on March 8th.It is a celebration which reminds us how far the women of today have progressed.
Next day I had a shock talking to the lady who helps me with the house work. Her name is Munni. She doesnt know her age. She looked to be in her thirties...
She is already a grandmother.. but doesnt know how old her children are..
Munni is separated from her husband .Her daughter too is separated from her husband.
Her young son helps her run the house working in a garage..

Felt ashamed to hear the story. We claim to have achieved so much, but unless each and every life around us is improved we cannot participate in the success.. Am thinking what I can do to help Munni..I can give her money, but that will not change her status.
Still that is something better than not doing anything at all.

Doubts about living......

2007-02-01T06:10:00.000-08:00

As the day is getting closer, am filled with trepidation! Hope everything goes well......I watch these silly soaps on tv and see all the unwanted things happening...and like a fool worry over nothing.....

Mohan while he was very sick, and a few days before he passed on, spoke to me on Nimi's marriage. He said, he wished he were alive to see his daughter getting married......I didnt know what to tell him then....was a mute witness to the sad event..

Today when I am getting ready to print the invitation card...I thought why not make him alive in that....in my own selfish way...I will make him stay with me to invite everyone thru the invite......

Is it too much to ask???????

I am told the society will mind....will it???
society never failed to hurt me..when I was denied the kumkum in the puja's that I attended...

No one bothered to find out if we were eating properly all these years when I struggled to bring the kids up...no one bothered to find out if there was money to pay the fees...

but now......that I just want to put his name with me in the invite.....is it a crime???

I loathe this...and wish I wasnt subjected to this....day in and day out....

why do they not live and let live....

a great connection

2007-01-28T05:20:00.000-08:00

I have always been the bridge connecting the two sisters...oh they are after all my children too..
but somehow...I am the one who they use to pass on information to each other...

This time around..it seemed quite a grave situation coz they decided to do away with the bridge and connect themselves..

A long chat...i am told...they had a heart to heart...the younger sibling groping in the dark about her future discussing her fears with the more confident elder one in the recesses of the night when the old mother was sleeping oblivious of her surroundings...

something touched the younger one very greatly...something what she heard, with wonder and amusement....
she cried all night thinking about it...
she realised....as never before..that she is loved...

In the process of growing up.......

2007-01-21T00:51:00.000-08:00

A mothers thoughts.....

A celebration is coming our way, and I am filled with apprehension and joy!

You raise a kid with lot of love, take part in every thought that crosses the young mind...and is always present to help solve life's riddles..for them..and then suddenly its time...to let go..

Am ready to do that...

I want her to have her own life...a family....and a home...
I want her to nurture the same with her love and shape the life thereafter, with her husband..

I hope she gets the best that life can offer! and be thankful for the same....I can't be separate from her ...which is her fear....she is my extension...a part of me...how can I be away from her...

Am growing up...to add on ....a son...let go... a wife...

wish we were together...me and him...to stand with me...in the moment of their togetherness
Am sure, he is around..in spirits..wishing more than ever ...that things go right....

A day to remember....26/11/2006

2006-11-30T05:31:00.000-08:00

I went to meet a few of my friends recently...meeting them for the first time....I was a little nervous, to say the least. First of all travelling alone...felt a little adventurous..but all the same exciting.
But the fears were unfounded, I felt when atlast I met them.....my friendship with the guys is already cemented..but I was a little nervous about meeting their wives...
But HA!! what a pleasure it was to meet them..I found two extensions of myself in that home...full of love...I was overwhelmed..felt my friends are indeed fortunate to have them for their partners...
The kids, were another story altogether...I have not met another friendly child before..both of them are so cool..they didnt have any problem talking to us stranger adults..we have to learn a thing or two from them..i feel..
Feel richer now...with more meaningful friends to share my life with...

Live and Let Live

2006-10-13T19:37:00.000-07:00

The adage sounds very simple to hear and perform..but practically not easy

We live amongst relationships.
To be left alone to do what you want is a very small thing to ask, but you never get the space to do that, is the truth.
Parents decide what the child needs, then the spouse decides for you,after marriage what you need, then the grown up children decide what you want in your old age..Though this is an understatement, in a way for most of us this holds true.

Even society has a way of handling our affairs. But then one cant help this..This the way.

I feel, one has to rise above this level of interference and perform.
It isnt easy, may find many stumbling blocks, but silently one has to do what one wants.
Ofcourse one can listen to advice , but the ultimate decision has to be yours and yours alone.

A mother cooks food. With lot of love, she creates dishes and serves her children, it is said the food prepared with love tastes different., so also the act performed with love, be it anything turns divine.
This is possible only if you love what you are doing. If you are acting on someone's likes without caring for it then it turns bland and tasteless like the dishes one makes half heartedly.

so,

I live and let live...

Life is easy...if you let it be..

2006-10-11T19:59:00.000-07:00

Once I had the good fortune of listening to Swami Dayanand Saraswati in Coimbatore..

He said...when you go to a temple, and the priest comes to you after the aarti...with the thali...you have no choice, as to what you will receive from him..

He might give you prasad, a laddoo, sometimes flower, sometimes a tika or sometimes nothing..

WE have no choice..

WE make do with what we get....happily..

Same goes for the life too...what ever you receive is the prasad, just take it as your share and be happy with it..

This thought stays with me always..

Hence I feel, am able to take everything in my stride.

A Friend Indeed....

2006-10-10T08:44:00.000-07:00

I have lived my life ...for the last ten years alone...but not truly alone..
Friends kept me sane...helped me overcome my grief...and were around me for anything and everything
I believe, life is like a train journey. There is you and there are other passengers..all are heading in some directions..some get in at some point and some get out at some..It is the time spent in the company that matters..

Mohan left when his destination came, I had to move along, to reach my destination..

At this point in my life... some wellmeaning friends got into my life.. I dont know how, but then they seem to belong. Probably from my previous birth..if there was one.

Today, knowing that they are around, gives a feeling of peace..a feeling of security.
I dont care what happens tomorrow..for I have to live today, be around and make the most of it..as it is.

A Day to Remember-8/10/2006, My own blog...

2006-10-08T05:28:00.000-07:00

I have many identities...so many of them..for I live in this world..amongst people..

I identify myself as a mother more than anything ...coz it is the most rewarding of all experiences till date....rewarding in terms of my own growth as a person..

Till yesterday I was the provider to my children...today..one bird has flown away from the nest..but do not feel her absence, as within myself, I feel her presence so much that I dont need to see her all the time...

I got a diamond ring for my 25th anniversary, from her...and I still can't help looking at it every minute just to make sure it is there and it is real..

Ha!! what a feeling it is ...it is not the value in terms of money..it is the value it has in terms of feeling, for me...

I feel humbled...when I think ..how much god has been kind to me...have two of his beautiful creations gifted to me..

Thank you god!!!!..for this day...when I get to share this ... the wonderful feeling
Mohangeet